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When I was pregnant, I made a lot of lists.
- What to bring to the birth center
- Cleaning checklist before baby arrives
- Things to order from Amazon. Target. Etsy.
The lists went on and on. There was a new one every other day. One of my final nesting checklist items was to plan out the bedtime routine. I read so many different recommendations. Bath before bed. No bath before bed. Sing and read. Keep the lights dim and don’t make too much noise. You get the idea. I think I came up with far too challenging of a routine in hindsight.
I’m pretty sure it was something like “calm activities together, take a bath*, baby massage, dim the lights, lullabies, read a few books, nurse, lay down DROWSY BUT AWAKE, sleep peacefully through the night.”
And every night I was frustrated and disappointed that I couldn’t even manage half of that. It never once went as planned. Having a routine is great for children (and parents), so we just had to find something that worked for us.
The following routine came about through trial and error when our little one was between 2-3 months old. We finally “settled in” to the routine around the 4 month marker after we moved him into his own room, which we highly recommend!
Taking a step back
I love Emily Ley. She is the creator of the Simplified Planner, as well as the author of many of my favorite books including Grace, Not Perfection. She emphasizes the need to “simplify and prioritize,” and to give ourselves Grace in the process. In this case, I needed to give myself a big heaping spoonful of Grace. My tiny baby couldn’t make it through my marathon bedtime routine, and was none the wiser at my perceived failure. I simplified the routine, wrapped it in a whole lotta grace, and the evenings go much smoother now.
Preparing for success
About half an hour or so before we want LJ to be asleep (typically between 6:30-7) we start bedtime. The first order of business: put the glow in the dark pacifiers under a lamp. We use the lamp in our bedroom, and one of us grabs the pacifiers before we lay him down. You could also set them by a nightlight in the nursery if thats easier. Next, we chose a few books to read. We like to end with Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You. Depending on how sleepy your babe is, you might only be able to fit in one book. I’ve found it’s nice to end with the same book every night because I know the words by heart and can recite the story in low lighting without straining my eyes or having a bright light on.
Our new routine
Before we sit down to nurse, we set out LJ’s pajamas, sleepsack, and diaper. Then we turn the ceiling light off, turn the nightlight on, and turn the sound machine on. We like this sound machine; it stays on all night on the ocean setting. It helps drown out any doors closing too loudly, or other accidental startling noises. When he’s finished eating, I change his diaper and get his pajamas and sleepsack on.
Now that LJ is rolling over on his own and sleeping on his stomach we switch between a Burt’s Bees beekeeper when its warm and a fleece Halo sleepsack when its cooler. Before he was rolling we tried swaddling with a SwaddleMe original, and then with a Spearmint Love muslin swaddle, but he didn’t enjoy having his arms tucked in by his side. We switched to the Love to Dream SwaddleUp which he took to immediately and slept much better in. It has “wings” to keep a baby’s arms in an upright position so they can soothe themselves by rubbing their hands against their face while also providing enough restraint that they don’t startle themselves awake.
Travis and I take turns reading bedtime stories. We usually read anywhere between 1-3 books, depending on how long they are and how tired baby boy is. When he’s drowsy, but still awake, we lay him down. We tiptoe out the door, turn the baby monitor on, and relax until we pass out, most likely by 9pm. What can I say? We’re Wild like that.
Do you follow a bedtime routine (for yourself, or your littles)? What’s your best bedtime advice for new parents?
with Love from our Wild,
Caitlyn
*Before I had a child I did not understand the idea of “bath night.” Isn’t every night bath night?? The answer is maybe. Maybe your little one loves the bath, and is nice and calm and tired after a warm mini soak. However, my child loves the water and gets a second wind of energy anytime he gets to splish splash which is not exactly what you want right before bedtime.
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